Love Will Find You

I’ve been practically single for nearly 4 years (besides a 3 month addendum last year) I mean don’t get me wrong I’ve been dating, oh man have I been dating, but my primary focus has been me and my fun, which I personally have enjoyed greatly. So much that I actually didn’t even see a relationship in my horizon any time soon. I saw guys at the events I frequently went to and occasionally someone would get lucky with me here and there but that was never my end goal on going out. I had finally mastered the art of going places alone or with friends and always having a fantastic time. And that was that.

When there was a male in my spectrum I only asked for respect and love, but not LOVE love just the friendship love, just as I expect from all my friends that I love dearly. [Dare you to say love 5 times in a sentence nonchalantly] Although many boys got this sort of relationship twisted (as Rihanna would say “baby, don’t get it twisted you just anotha nigga on the hit list”) and truthfully they weren’t ‘just anotha nigga’ until said twisted-ness occurred. I don’t need someone in my life male, female, or friend with benefits that is gonna make me feel like my caring is too much and unwarranted or unwanted. As my blunt and forthright friend once told me, during the peak of my promiscuous times, ‘You’re not a hoe but a lover that likes to fuck.’

The point of all this irrelevant babble is that I had gotten so content with being without a ‘lover’ that I was nearly, if not definitely, avoiding getting too involved with any one person. I’d still mess around but I’d make sure that they were not someone I wanted to date and hopefully my intentions were clear. I will not make any vows on the clearness of said intentions since many males do not understand things unless they’re directly stated in perfect context. Who’s fault that is? I have no idea. Regardless I always spoke my truth and would avoid dishonesty as much as possible. In the midst of protecting myself from beckoning on a relationship I began finding peace and love without the need for sexual interaction or emotional reliance. I could stand on my own, not cause I needed to but because I enjoyed being on my own more than being with someone else.

Of course as the age myth holds that once you stop looking for love, love finds you. I honestly think this is not just a myth but more of a lifestyle choice. When you’re looking for love you’ll meet people that may not be right and try to make them fit into your perfect model of a significant other but this model is often fabricated from what you think you need or want from someone else. Once you let go of this ideology that you need someone then you can just open up all your love and eventually you’ll find someone perfect, not just because they like you but because you two work well together and you love each other. And that’s what happened for me…

Don’t settle, obtain happiness alone eventually another will join you on this journey we call life.

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